Tuesday, December 14, 2004

You're forgiven

That's right, blog battlers. You've said bad awful horrible things about me and my blog. But now that it's over, I'm forgiving you for your mean, hateful awfulness. I hope you've seen the error of your ways and will, in the words of Ozzy Osbourne, "learn how to love and forget how to ha-ee-yaye-ate".

Psssst... my wordpress blog is almost done. Hope to have it up tonight.... DON'T TELL ANYONE! It's a surprise.

No substitute for victory

Americans love a winner!

The final results were announced at 1:53 a.m. Eastern, and it seems congratulations are in order for the 34 bestest blogs in the whole wide world.

We would like to repeat our thanks to the people we already thanked, only without that undercurrent of nervous tension this time. Thank you!

Monday, December 13, 2004

Group hug, anyone?

With such a narrow margin, it could go either way, once all the hanging chads and whatnot are scrutinized. But whoever wins, I say "Thanks and best regards" to all y'all.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Final push today!

We need 55 votes today.

Yesterday The Gleeson Bloglomerate made up for more than half of our fallen 177. Another day like yesterday will mean triumph! But we are still 55 votes short!
Have you voted today, brother?

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Keep it up!

Keep it up, brother! Vote Gleeson Today!

Votes are pouring in from patriots everywhere; but the good guys are still 96 votes behind!
Have you voted today, brother?

Kevin Aylward e-mailed me the details of the 177-vote subtraction. I had a peek at the logs, and there can be no question: those votes were bogus, and the deletion was the proper decision.

All of the 177 fraudulent votes were sent in from one I.P. address ( on the evening of December 2, in the space of about 10 minutes. This address belongs to some jerk in Seattle, WA.

Of course, this is disappointing news, not just for us, but for decent people everywhere who want a fair contest, and also want Gleeson Bloglomerate to win said fair contest. But at least the culprit was just a random creep, and not an actual friend or well-wisher of ours. This was the same guy who was apparently screwing with many other categories the same night. I checked our hit logs, and that bum had never even seen this site. And now he never will, because I have banned that address from access to the Gleeson Bloglomerate.

Thanks to Kevin Aylward for doing his unsung work of running a fair contest. This would have been much worse if the cheating had only been discovered after voting was over, and my readers had no time to respond by voting in droves to make up the shortfall.

Oh, and speaking of voting in droves to make up the shortfall, this would be a good time to do that. Go vote for Gleeson!

She needs you now, brother!

Avenge Our Fallen 177. Vote Gleeson Today!

177 votes snuffed out.

That's right, brother. Snatched away. These were real votes. American votes. Gleeson votes!

They're gone, and they ain't comin' back. They did their part. The only question is,

what are YOU gonna do about it?

We can win or lose this thing, but to win it you gotta get out there and vote!

And don't tell me why you can't be troubled to do it...


Oh Lawd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

Don't judge lest ye be judged, sayeth the Lord. Posted by Hello

Thar's evul in the world mah Friends. Yes, thar is. Say it wit me. Eeeevul! Can I get an amen, somebody? Hallelujah! You must watch for evul in the threads and comments of other's lives and you must STAND UP - and you must smite that evul! Because I will stand up and smite that evul! Oh, yes I will, mah friends! Because I know the truth and the way. And I will show it to you! Will you stand wid me? WILL you STAND with ME! Hallejuha.

Here's one example I found: "Well, I do make the effort to vote both at work and at
home. So, even if I don't like ya, at least I support ya!" ...

I have no way of enforcing this plea for honesty, and no way of knowing who
complies and who violates it. Only you, and the One who wrote the law on
your heart, will know.

But, but, wait! What's that? What's that you're saying to me, Lord? How's that? Oh, my God, my sweet Lord. The heathens attack from all sides even as I lay mah head?

Last night, while America slept, the overseers of the 2004 Weblog Awards removed
177 votes from our blog's tally. Poof, gone. This instantly demoted The Gleeson
Bloglomerate from a slim two percent lead over our closest competitor to a
dismaying six percent shortfall!

But the reasons are moot. Maybe upon review, we could get some or all of these votes back, but it doesn't seem likely. We must assume that these votes are irretrievably gone, and play the hand we're dealt.

This blog gets more than 1,000 unique visitors every single day. Most days, over
2,000. We should be able to make up 177 votes before breakfast! Obviously, some
of the people who read and enjoy this site are not going over there and voting. Why not?

In mah darkest hour mah flock has abandoned me. Oh, Lawd. Why me? Why me, one who was so quick to condemn, ... to condemn those that I KNEW were sinners? So what if it was only I joke! A silly conversation in a comment thread. Why, how could someone who said "Well, I do make the effort to vote both at work and at home. So, even if I don't like ya, at least I support ya!" possibly have been kidding? No, it was evul! And I knew it in mah heart and I STOOD UP and I SMOTE that evul, yes I did.

And now I find mahself visited by unspeakable demons, a broken man in his darkest hour ... a loooser! Oh, mah Lord how can that be, Lord? How can that be? PLEASE LORD, tell ME, speak to ME, Lord ... HOW can that BE?

LORD: Well, my Son, it would seem you took a silly comment, a fun contest and most of all yourself far too seriously, boy. And there're damn few things in this world I enjoy smackin' down more than the self righteous and the vain, asshat. Next time you have a question about something I write, how about asking ME about it before linking and babblin' bullshit on your blog like some silly little self-righteous prick?

Say Amen, somebody.

Overheard At The Convention Of Evil Artists

Artist One: Just between you and me Teddy, I think if you pissed on Tillman again, you'd get your mojo back.
Artist Two: Do you think it will make up for my glaring lack of talent or a meaningful existence?
This message brought to you by the Extra Cranky Committee To Elect Cranky Neocon in the 2004 Weblog Awards (1000-1750).

Friday, December 10, 2004

Blogger Introspection Outlawed

I am declaring blogwar on all introspective bloggers - starting with those who have entered the squared circle at BATTLE OF THE BLOGS.

Sure, I'm guilty of it too, but now that I've seen the light (thanks, Froggy), I'm comin' after the rest of you (metaphorically, of course).

Exhibit A: BamaPachyderm. I'm posting this while she's out of town so she can't defend herself.

Exhibit B: Cranky. I've already assaulted you on this one.

Exhibit C: Sharp as a Marble. You are actually allowed to quit blogging because you're blog is so visually pleasing that it's worth visiting for the design alone.

Exhibit D: Gleeson. Talking to oneself is one of the earliest signs of brutal insanity. Seek counseling.

Exhibit E: Allah. Well, he already quit, I just wanted to link to him for no reason because I'm sure he needs the traffic.

I will be adding other introspective bloggers for verbal assault as they're brought to my attention.


Sean from Gleeson Industrial Polluters, Inc., points out that he was *not* talking to himself, but was hearing two voices talking to each other in his head.

While I did realize this, it was more fun to imply that he was going insane. Nuance duly noted and apology submitted.

Also posted at SMB

Gleeson DQ'd from Wizbang Web Awards 2004

Gleeson family pet, Roo Roo caught in the act of producing the Encyclopedia Brown post for which Sean shamefully took the credit. Even Gleeson family members admit Sean lacks that kind of talent. Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Back To Being Cranky

After Sean pulls crap like this, I want to close up shop and burn down my blog site for the insurance money.

This "quality writing" business is just unethical.

The question is, do I concede that Sean rocks, or be spiteful and throw my support behind Robb? (Who is great in his own right.)

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

More compromising positions for Bamapachyderm

No one who engages in practices such as this...

should be leading MyPetJawa in the polls.

There has to be some voting hanky-panky still going on.

Jim Geraghty: Just another Massachusetts lawyer

Would you REALLY vote for a "blogger" who is a Massachusetts lawyer?
James Geraghty is a 1977 graduate of the New England School of Law (1997) where he was a member of the Dean’s List. He served as an Assistant District Attorney in Plymouth County for five years before entering private practice. His practice is concentrated in the defense of individuals charged with Operating Under the Influence (DWI, DUI) and other related criminal matters. [Haven't we had enough of Massachusetts lawyers already?]

Mr. Geraghty has tried over seventy-five jury trials where the charge was Operating Under the Influence or Motor Vehicle Homicide. Since joining Jones & Milligan, Mr. Geraghty has defended individuals charged with Operating Under the Influence in over 25 courts throughout the state.

In addition to his extensive criminal trial experience, Mr. Geraghty is a member of the National College for DUI Defense, the Massachusetts Bar Association and the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers.

HA! All this time, you thought he was AGAINST Massachusetts lawyers. Maybe he was just for them before he was against them? I guess "Kerry Spot" is an accurate moniker...?

Bill has thoughts on Geraghty's history as well.

Admin stuff

Do you guys want email notification on new posts? Blogsnot only sends them to me, but I'll do an auto-forward if you want.

Gleeson family portrait


Uh oh...

Enter a Carnivorous non-combatant...watch out, Meathead...

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Endorsements are up

This is what the media has been waiting for.

The "official" Six Meat endorsements for the 2004 Bloggies. Oh, come on. Pretend you care. Anybody? Hmmm?

Holy Schmoly it's getting close

.1% at the last view. And I've even sent most of the migrant workers home for the evening. Bastards, they weren't supposed to stop until we were tied.

I am not Ralph Nader or Ross Perot.

Are you?

I don't know if any of my fellow "competitors" (except for the gracious Rusty Shackelford) in the Best New Blog category have done this yet, but I have integrity! and honor! and humility!

At the risk of being called French, I'm asking all of you to vote for INDC Journal for Best New Blog. You KNOW he's earned it, with his Moonbat research and his role in Rathergate!

Yeah, yeah, I love the Kerry Spot; but they're not even in my consideration for this--they don't need the help anyway (for what help my "endorsement" is worth, that is). Anyway, I'm just surprised to be IN the category to begin with, and consider it a HUGE honor (and mystery) to be in the same category as such talented people.

So, because I WANT INDC Bill to win this, GO VOTE and get his vote total above the Kerry Spot.

And don't just cast your vote for INDC, tell your readers to do so as well.

[Jane/Vilmar/Preston/Bill/Diplomad? You with me?]

* Originally posted at the Best New Little Blog, but copied here to taunt and shame you, my fellow losers!

Stepping outside the ring for a second...

Help Rusty!

The inhumanity of it all!


Re: the pic below--

Fornication? That implies consent.

Someone had to strap one on to show what a bunch of sissies those Donks are...since no one was man enough to find something in the Buffet to do the job. You know, if you want something done RIGHT, you have to do it yourself.

Y'all should be proud of me. So go VOTE FOR MY VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY.

And now my server is down!

You've sunk low before, Marble Man, but this is beyond the limit.

Bamapachyderm caught on film!

Breaking news! Bamapachyderm caught fornicating with democrats. Want proof?

Vote for Six Meat Buffet instead. You'll never catch me fornicating with barnyard animals.

Everything you need to know about The Kerry Spot

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished JIM GERAGHTY to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how he matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Extreme

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Armies of Liberation Exposed

Jane's Armies of Liberation has finally been EXPOSED!

These "armies" are nothing more than a collection of Stratego game pieces.

Vote for Six Meat Buffet instead.

Who can give me the most free stuff?

So, I can't decide who I should vote for in the Best 1000-1750 Category.

Should I vote for Cranky who did that cool machine thingy and makes me laugh?

Should I vote for Gleeson who does all those kick-ass graphics and funny photoshops?

Should I vote for the Marble who has the best looking blog of the three?

I'm torn. Therefore, my vote is officially for sale. Start the bidding.

Jane apparently caved...?

HA! I knew that "Army" of hers was fake.

*(Either that, or she has A Life™)

Mystery Meat Buffet

Where the Mystery Meat comes from.

Consider yourself spared...for now. Google pulls up a lot of "interesting" pictures of you when I looked...muaahahahahahaha

When the buffet is closed...

Preston's favorite snack

Bad news for Robb

Kevin added some new security measures, designed to filter out scripts, bots, and terrorist sympathizers.

Breaking news - Bama Pachyderm violates community standards

Do you really want to cast your vote for a pachyderm who was caught doing this

in the street? I don't think so. Bama's disregard of public safety and personal hygiene should be all you need to know.

Vote for Six Meat Buffet instead.

Monday, December 06, 2004


Not so fast, my friend. No concession here, despite my paltry showing!

First of all, where the hell did you find that picture of me, and I'm afraid of what's going to happen when you stop the "nice" attacks. And where did you find that atrocious sausage? Nothing like that would be served at my buffet.

I see that the polls are temporarily closed - probably due to cheating by Jane or Bama.

FYI, I would have been here earlier, but I was out for the evening. The battle shall continue tomorrow, for I must snooze.

This just in

It appears Jane and Preston have conceded already...note their conspicuous absence from the battlefield...

Which One Of You...

... sneaky people invited me to this little cagematch?

It looks like the gangs all here, so let me ask this. What happened to Marble Boy? He is closing fast on Sean. Meanwhile I am nurturing my little 12%. My precious 12%.

I am honored to be here, but at the same time I think that having all you people in one place is dangerous.

Mmmmm, a Buffet special!

More from the Meat Buffet

Posted by Hello

Shocking new photo of Preston's real talent with meat...and I'm being nice for now

Preston 'Deep Throat' Holmes

Six Meat Buffet? He can do six at a time?

Exit Polls Show a Sharp as a Marble Lead

Early exit polls are showing SaaM with a 13 point lead, regardless of current counts coming from the highly unreliable Wizbang stats.

SaaM is showing support from the following groups

Transgendered Immigrant Kumquat Farmers - 47%
Legally Blind, Left-Handed Dentists - 52%
Britney Spears Impersonators - 76%
His Mother - 0 % (however, not all precincts are reporting in yet)

So, beware! My Support is greater than you think!

Watch out, Gordon & Robb...

SOMEONE got a media mention.

Of course, it's not been checked by Charles Johnson for evidence of tampering yet.

You know what would be neat, Beth?

A </a> tag somewhere after that finalist logo would be neat.

If you love liberty

If you love liberty

In the New Blog Category...

This "New Blogger" hasn't a prayer for winning this, never did.
But why is The Kerry Spot so far in the lead?

What do you say, Jane...do we work on the other losers to get Bill in the lead?

[x-posted on MVRWC]

In another battle...

Vote or Die

Get in the ring, motherfuckers, and I'll kick your bitchy little ass!

Well guys, here's your chance.

I'm going to open this up as a Public Service Announcement area first for the fine gentleman (*cough cough*) battling it out for King of the Ant Hill.

If you want in, drop me an email.

Let the games begin!